Personal Development

Your intentions are good. You see your loved one struggling under a mountain of “trash” and even deeper under the weight of depression. You see the leaning piles of unfinished projects and “useless” items. Your first instinct is to rush to your loved one’s side and rescue them from their hoarder disorder. You want to be their hero. If only it were that simple. Most people who hoard don’t identify as hoarders. They rationalize their behavior, justifying or denying it. They may not see their possessions as excessive or problematic and might have deep emotional bonds with these objects, which makes it hard for them to think of these things as “trash.” And some people with hoarding disorder struggle with decision-making, perfectionism, or anxiety (or in some cases, all three). These obstacles prevent them from letting go of things or even wanting to. Hoarding is often linked to mental health conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), anxiety, or depression, making self-awareness complicated. If confronted, some hoarders may become defensive or insist that they are simply collecting treasured items or being resourceful instead of hoarding. So, jumping in to help the hoarder, as well-intentioned as you may be, might make them view you as a villain rather than the hero you are trying to be. That’s why it’s important to approach the idea of helping someone downsize their hoard with extreme caution and compassion. Before you attempt to help someone with their hoarding issue, it’s important to examine the motive behind your desire to help. Are you helping this person out of genuine concern and compassion for them, or do you have selfish motives such as taking their possessions or making your own life easier? If you are authentically trying to help your loved one with their hoarding issues, and you are [...]

In your lifetime, there will only be a small group of people who can say that they’ve known you for most of your life. Your folks, older relatives, your siblings, and some friends from the neighborhood that you’ve somehow managed to stay in touch with will be among these. As we go through life, relationships end and we part ways with people, and by the time one is 25-40, there’s typically only a small circle of people we truly know and trust, which makes self-acceptance important. Of course, as you go throughout life, you’re doing it with and as yourself. In whatever situation you find yourself in, you’re bringing your thoughts, hopes, dreams, deepest fears, gifts, and everything that you are. As you make decisions, work, engage in relationships, have conflicts, make up, and apologize, you do these things in accordance with your values or beliefs, though sometimes you may choose to compromise. Valencia Christian Counseling helps individuals navigate life’s challenges while staying true to their faith and values. Whatever else happens in your other relationships, you should be able to live with yourself at the end of the day. Being able to accept yourself and be content is such an amazing gift because it has many implications for your well-being. The struggle for self-acceptance Self-acceptance allows you to face the world with confidence, and it also allows you to be more impervious to criticism. When you accept yourself, you see yourself for who you are without pretense or judgment. You can recognize your own strengths, accomplishments, and weaknesses, and you can see your value and see yourself with sober judgment without needing the approval of others. Accepting yourself helps you to navigate the world better without the harsh background noise of what other people think. You’re [...]

Stress is a part of our daily lives. You may have everything scheduled, and then overwhelming tasks and responsibilities will stress you out, or an emergency will derail your plans. Whether the stress is acute or chronic, the pressure can lead to physical, emotional, and mental challenges. On top of that, your relationships can suffer. For all of these reasons you may need to implement stress management into your routine. Sometimes, implementing stress management activities can stress you out even more. Perhaps that’s because what you tried before were activities that seemed too structured. On the other hand, it could be that what works great for one person isn’t necessarily the best stress-reducing activity for another person. For example, your friend might play golf to relax, but the mere thought of putting the ball into eighteen holes stresses you out. Valencia Christian Counseling can help you find personalized, faith-based strategies to manage stress in a way that works best for you. Everyone is different, and your stress management activities should reflect your personality and be something you enjoy. Eight easy stress management activities Why make stress management activities stressful? That certainly does not work when it comes to lowering cortisol (stress hormone) levels or calming your fight-or-flight response. Stress is a natural reaction, but our minds translate events like deadlines and overdue bills as threats. In addition, long-term stress can result in chronic inflammation, which researchers have found is behind various physical and mental conditions. The following is a list of stress-busting, easy activities you can do today. Note the ones you want to try and schedule them into your day. Even a five or ten-minute break can make all the difference. Start walking. Walking is an easy activity you can do at your own pace. As you walk, [...]