Personal Development Archives | Valencia Christian Counseling

Doing the Work: Self, Spiritual Goals, and Personal Growth

Doing the Work: Self, Spiritual Goals, and Personal Growth

Kate Motaung2024-12-06T17:58:34+00:00November 29th, 2024|Featured, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

Spiritual goals and growth are not about practicing more religious habits. While those can be external reflections of a relationship with Christ, the root of it occurs in our hearts. Becoming more like Jesus originates in shared time and surrender. Sometimes, we have notions about what we think serving God is supposed to be. Yet, we haven't always inquired with our Father about what that looks like for us, considering how He formed us and fit us in various roles and responsibilities, with distinct spiritual aptitudes and natural abilities. God wants to shape our lives in ways that will not only transform us but also impact our environment. Sometimes, we are preoccupied with the reverse. We envision shifting outside conditions, believing that internal transformation pivots on shifting circumstances. This externalizes our joy, resting it on outside sources with no real guarantee that they will produce the difference we desire. A few well-placed changes may suffice temporarily, but they won't bring the abiding peace and long-term transformation that glorifies God and blesses us and others. Instead, Jesus invites us to journey with Him into our souls to dig deep concerning our spiritual goals and growth. As we yield, the Holy Spirit does the work of changing our lives from the inside out. He may rearrange circumstances, but He often begins with our character. Ultimately, He transforms us, enabling us to make environmental changes reflective of who He is and what He's doing within our souls. The following outline a few ways we can follow His lead, with spiritual integrity and practical simplicity. Self-Reflection The mirror of God's Word enables us to accurately see ourselves as God does (James 1:23-24). Often, the world's noise distracts and infiltrates our souls with toxins that blur our vision, blinding us to the influences that [...]

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Examples of Professional Boundaries and Why They Matter

Examples of Professional Boundaries and Why They Matter

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T10:43:23+00:00October 1st, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

Work is a good thing, even though it can be hard or feel unrewarding at times. A person’s work can provide a sense of meaning and an outlet for their creative gifts, and it allows them to provide for themselves and their family. However, work can take over one’s life and transgress professional boundaries, occupying more space than it should. This can have detrimental effects on a person’s health as well as their relationships. Having a decent work-life balance helps to minimize the negative effects of work taking over one’s life. Maintaining that balance requires reliable professional boundaries. Understanding boundaries A physical boundary is a line of some kind that tells you where one thing ends, and another begins. A boundary could be the walls of your apartment which distinguishes your space from your neighbor’s space. If you have a parking space at work, the boundary that marks your spot out is usually a set of lines and an inscription that indicates what you have exclusive access to. In our relationships, we won’t often have physical lines that work the same way, but that doesn’t mean boundaries don’t exist or that they don’t matter. When it comes to how we relate to others, boundaries are, according to the American Psychological Association, “a psychological demarcation that protects the integrity of an individual or group or that helps the person or group set realistic limits on participation in a relationship or activity.” A boundary says, in effect, “This is me, and this is you.” We are all made uniquely in God’s image, with our opinions, values, abilities, personalities, tolerances, loves, pet peeves, and everything that makes us who we are. These are what distinguish us from the next person. Your boundaries protect your integrity, and they guide others in how to interact [...]

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Why Building Self-Esteem is Important

Why Building Self-Esteem is Important

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T10:43:29+00:00September 30th, 2024|Depression, Family Counseling, Featured, Personal Development|

Self-esteem may seem like something we all have, and there is little we can do to change it. The facts of who we are determine how we see ourselves, and there is no changing those, right? Don’t be so sure. The reality is our perception of ourselves is often subjective and influenced by our circumstances. For example, how do you feel after spending time chatting with those you love, versus spending time scrolling social media? You will likely feel comfortable and happy after a meaningful, edifying conversation rather than considering the advantages of others who are enjoying and living their best life. Maintaining and building self-esteem is important as it can be the reason you feel good and take care of yourself, versus feeling like you just cannot be bothered. The messages and advice many have heard throughout their lives are to believe in themselves and to love themselves. These may feel motivational, but how can they last and what is their application to daily life? After all, the advantages of having high self-esteem far outweigh the significant disadvantages attached to a low view of yourself. To get a handle on why building self-esteem is important, consider the definition that self-esteem is how we evaluate and understand ourselves. It's based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves. These opinions can feel difficult to change. Self-confidence is another way of thinking about self-esteem. Therefore, admiring and respecting yourself is a key part of having healthy self-esteem. But why building self-esteem is important goes beyond that. It is coupled with ascribing to yourself admiration, respect, dignity, and love. In believing in yourself, you unlock the capacity to learn and contribute to the world around you as well as trust yourself to do a good job. You have an assurance that your [...]

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Do You Need a Certified Life Coach?

Do You Need a Certified Life Coach?

Melissa Plantz2024-10-03T12:37:59+00:00August 29th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

In a world of constant changes and transitions, you don’t have to navigate it alone. While friends and family can be a great source of support, there are limitations. They may offer advice that isn’t always helpful or overlook issues that could hinder your progress. This is where a certified life coach can step in. A certified life coach is an expert in a particular area based on their own experiences. Unlike a counselor or therapist, a certified life coach does not diagnose or treat mental health conditions. Instead, they focus on posing questions, active listening, and suggesting steps to help you reach your goals. Why you should consider a certified life coach. A life coach can be anyone who uses their skills, past experiences, and successes to help others reach their goals in the same area of expertise. The industry for life coaches is unregulated, but a certified life coach has the added advantage of having taken the required training and learned skills to communicate effectively with various people. If you plan to make a major change in your life or see if it is possible, a certified life coach can help you get started. You can find a coach in just about any industry. For example, if you are trying to lose weight and get healthy after years of dieting, a certified life coach in the health and wellness arena could help you set goals, choose one goal to focus on, and create a plan. As you progress toward your goal, the life coach supports you by checking in and helping you reassess and adjust, as necessary. What a certified life coach could do for you You want to find a certified life coach in the specific area you need to focus on. The following are common [...]

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Healthy Ways of Finding Self-Acceptance

Healthy Ways of Finding Self-Acceptance

Jennifer Kooshian2024-10-03T12:42:56+00:00August 27th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

In your lifetime, there will only be a small group of people who can say that they’ve known you for most of your life. Your folks, older relatives, your siblings, and some friends from the neighborhood that you’ve somehow managed to stay in touch with will be among these. As we go through life, relationships end and we part ways with people, and by the time one is 25-40, there’s typically only a small circle of people we truly know and trust, which makes self-acceptance important. Of course, as you go throughout life, you’re doing it with and as yourself. In whatever situation you find yourself in, you’re bringing your thoughts, hopes, dreams, deepest fears, gifts, and everything that you are. As you make decisions, work, engage in relationships, have conflicts, make up, and apologize, you do these things in accordance with your values or beliefs, though sometimes you may choose to compromise. Whatever else happens in your other relationships, you should be able to live with yourself at the end of the day. Being able to accept yourself and be content is such an amazing gift because it has many implications for your well-being. The struggle for self-acceptance Self-acceptance allows you to face the world with confidence, and it also allows you to be more impervious to criticism. When you accept yourself, you see yourself for who you are without pretense or judgment. You can recognize your own strengths, accomplishments, and weaknesses, and you can see your value and see yourself with sober judgment without needing the approval of others. Accepting yourself helps you to navigate the world better without the harsh background noise of what other people think. You’re better able to make decisions based on the merits, not based on other people’s opinions. This can [...]

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Easy Stress Management Activities

Easy Stress Management Activities

Melissa Plantz2024-10-03T12:38:10+00:00May 26th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Stress is a part of our daily lives. You may have everything scheduled, and then overwhelming tasks and responsibilities will stress you out, or an emergency will derail your plans. Whether the stress is acute or chronic, the pressure can lead to physical, emotional, and mental challenges. On top of that, your relationships can suffer. For all of these reasons you may need to implement stress management into your routine. Sometimes, implementing stress management activities can stress you out even more. Perhaps that’s because what you tried before were activities that seemed too structured. On the other hand, it could be that what works great for one person isn’t necessarily the best stress-reducing activity for another person. For example, your friend might play golf to relax, but the mere thought of putting the ball into eighteen holes stresses you out. Everyone is different, and your stress management activities should reflect your personality and be something you enjoy. Eight easy stress management activities Why make stress management activities stressful? That certainly does not work when it comes to lowering cortisol (stress hormone) levels or calming your fight-or-flight response. Stress is a natural reaction, but our minds translate events like deadlines and overdue bills as threats. In addition, long-term stress can result in chronic inflammation, which researchers have found is behind various physical and mental conditions. The following is a list of stress-busting, easy activities you can do today. Note the ones you want to try and schedule them into your day. Even a five or ten-minute break can make all the difference. Start walking. Walking is an easy activity you can do at your own pace. As you walk, even at a stroll, the brain releases endorphins that leave you feeling happy and relaxed. Have you ever taken a walk [...]

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3 Ways to Listen When Someone Shares about Their Mental Health

3 Ways to Listen When Someone Shares about Their Mental Health

Caitlin Mallery2024-10-03T12:57:13+00:00February 7th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

Helping people with their mental health is not as simple as changing diets or taking medications. Having a community of compassionate listeners is essential to the well-being of the brokenhearted, the anxious, and the depressed. Perhaps you have a friend who has just shared their struggle with depression after a significant loss. Maybe your sister reveals that she has panic attacks in certain situations. You could have learned that your child has anxiety, ADHD, or is on the autism spectrum. A recent trauma could cause a significant change in your spouse’s behaviors and attitudes. As a compassionate individual, you want to be present in supporting the people you love through their mental health journey. Listening is one of the most crucial skills that you can learn in communication. This may be challenging if you are a rapid-fire analytical person. Some may be naturally gifted at listening, or just tend to be quieter, but even if that describes you, there may still be ways that you can improve your ability. As with many skills, you will become better with practice and patience. Even the chattiest people can learn to become amazing listeners. Three Ways to Listen to Someone Sharing about their Mental Health When someone is experiencing mental health struggles, they long for a feeling of safety and acceptance. You can give that to them by being a good listener. You will become a trusted resource for them as they heal and learn to live with their struggle. Listening with Your Ears The ears are the body part with which you take in sounds. This will be where you start the practice of listening, but certainly not where you end it. Your ears are just the vehicle of audio input, and your brain is doing a lot of work to [...]

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