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How to Identify Anger Problems and What To Do About Them

How to Identify Anger Problems and What To Do About Them

Kate Motaung2025-03-15T06:12:35+00:00May 19th, 2023|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

It seems as though one can find anger around every corner in daily life. If you turn on the news, you’re bound to hear a story sooner or later about someone with anger problems who harmed another person or an animal because they were angry about one thing or another. You may encounter politicians or their supporters of different ideological persuasions shouting at each other everywhere from city council meetings to the US Senate. If you go to the grocery store, you may hear someone complaining to a store employee or having a go at another customer because they cut in line. If you go online and scroll through your social media feeds, there’s no shortage of anger boiling over there regarding social, political, environmental, and other issues. Valencia Christian Counseling offers faith-based guidance to help manage anger in a healthy, Christ-centered way. Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. What is anger? Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity. It can range from feeling mild irritation to intense rage. Anger is accompanied by physiological and biological changes. The stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol, increase causing heart rate and blood pressure to go up. Is anger an issue? Expressing anger The instinctive way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to perceived threat. The mental, physiological, and emotional response inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors that prepare us to defend ourselves when we are attached. People use conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. Three approaches people use to deal with their anger are assertively expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive – not aggressive – manner is the healthiest. Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This [...]

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Treatment Options for Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)

Treatment Options for Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)

Kate Motaung2025-03-15T06:19:37+00:00January 7th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

Periods are a normal part of life for the majority of women and teenage girls. At worst, it’s a monthly pain; at best, it serves as a gentle reminder that our bodies are functioning as they should. However, the start of menstruation can feel miserable for girls with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). What is Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder? PMDD is a collection of both physical and emotional symptoms, much like its more well-known but milder cousin, premenstrual syndrome (PMS). They happen just before your period, during the menstrual cycle’s luteal phase when the uterus prepares for the possibility of pregnancy by secreting an increased number of hormones. Valencia Christian Counseling provides compassionate support to help women navigate the emotional and mental health challenges associated with PMDD from a faith-based perspective. PMS and PMDD symptoms frequently resemble one another and include: Feelings of depression, anxiety, irritability, or even rage that appear out of nowhere are referred to as being moody. Excessive crying or sobbing without cause. Intense sensitivity to rejection: worrying that everyone is upset or angry with you. Feeling overburdened or like you’re barely getting by. Difficulty staying focused or having trouble staying on task. Changing or decreasing one’s appetite. Physical symptoms such as exhaustion, bloating, cramps, headaches, tender breasts, and body aches. Typically, symptoms appear 5-8 days before your period, but they can appear earlier. Once your period starts, the symptoms stop. PMDD can begin at any point after puberty. So, what’s the difference? Around their periods, approximately 75% of women and girls report some emotional and physical discomfort, but PMS typically has a minor effect on their lives. The signs of premenstrual dysphoric disorder are much more severe, and they frequently lead to issues that last long after the tampon box has been put back in the cabinet. [...]

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4 Myths about Aging That May Be Limiting Your Potential

4 Myths about Aging That May Be Limiting Your Potential

Kate Motaung2025-03-15T06:30:23+00:00November 26th, 2022|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Knowing how to handle aging can feel challenging, but you have a say in what happens as you age. Start by taking your aging self seriously so that you can start taking precautions right away. The aging process can be controlled in part by you, one tiny step at a time. You don’t have to fall for the many age-related myths. Valencia Christian Counseling offers faith-based support to help individuals navigate aging with wisdom, grace, and a strong spiritual foundation. 4 Myths about Aging Here are four myths about aging to consider on your journey: Myth #1: During your retirement years, you should do nothing but relax and enjoy life. Our culture has conditioned us to believe many age-related myths, such as that once we reach retirement age, life will be all about leisure and relaxation. There is a place for leisure and relaxation, and different people will define these in different ways. It is important to recognize, however, that leisure and relaxation do not mean doing nothing and avoiding growth. Whether you’re financially prepared or not, it’s difficult to imagine that you can spend the majority of your retirement years just relaxing. Many people find themselves living for decades after retirement, especially with life expectancy rising. Doing nothing for decades is not beneficial, and it can be harmful to your health. The idea that you shouldn’t do anything but relax when you get older is probably one of the aging myths that causes the most harm. Can you imagine what would happen to your brain and body if you spent the majority of your later years watching TV rather than pushing yourself to experience new and exciting things that would help you learn and grow? Traditionally, we have viewed longevity as three linear, clean life stages. The way [...]

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Bible Verses About Fear To Help You Address It

Bible Verses About Fear To Help You Address It

Kate Motaung2025-03-15T06:27:04+00:00November 16th, 2022|Individual Counseling|

There’s a whole season in the American calendar that’s dedicated to fear. Around Halloween, we dress up in costumes and some of them are quite scary. We decorate our front lawns to look like spooky castles. In theaters, on television, and on our streaming services, there’s plenty of fare for the horror aficionado. Why do we want to scare ourselves so much? There’s a line of reasoning that says that we simulate fear in controlled environments because fear feels exciting when it activates our fight-or-flight response. Our routinized behavior can feel boring, so being scared makes us feel more alert and aware. Valencia Christian Counseling helps individuals understand and manage fear and anxiety in a healthy, faith-based way, offering guidance rooted in biblical wisdom. When we’re scared, we focus on the here and now, and we aren’t preoccupied with what needs to happen tomorrow or with what happened yesterday. When we know we’re safe, those feelings of fear can be interpreted as a positive experience. Making it through scary but safe activities can help you feel like you can take on whatever the world throws at you. When it comes to getting scared in simulated environments, we can find pleasure in those experiences. However, while this kind of scary-but-fun fear has that component of fun, our other fears aren’t so pleasurable. Why do we fear? Why is it that we feel fear, and why isn’t that regular type of fear fun in any kind of way? The difference between the scary-but-fun type of fear and our everyday fears is that the latter doesn’t have a safety net beneath it. It’s all tight rope, and a sheer drop beneath. What is unknown and is out of our control is often what we find most fearful, and we get scared in [...]

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Waging War Against Anorexia and Bulimia

Waging War Against Anorexia and Bulimia

Kate Motaung2025-03-18T14:56:27+00:00August 3rd, 2022|Christian Counseling For Teens, Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling|

According to studies by the EDC (Eating Disorders Coalition), at least 28.8 million Americans will suffer from an eating disorder such as anorexia and bulimia in their lifetime; four out of ten individuals have either personally experienced one or know someone who has, and eating disorders have the second highest mortality rate of any mental illness. These are frightening statistics, and the numbers are likely only getting higher as our society emerges into a post-pandemic world fraught with complex problems and myriad uncertainties. An eating disorder is defined as an unhealthy way of using food to cope with psychological stress, with a few common presentations. Anorexia nervosa centers around a restriction of energy intake relative to requirements, leading to significantly low body weight in the context of age and physical health. Valencia Christian Counseling provides compassionate, faith-based support for individuals struggling with eating disorders, helping them find healing and restoration through Christ-centered care. Anorexia creates a disturbance in the way in which one’s body weight or shape is experienced, with a persistent lack of recognition of the seriousness of the individual’s low body weight. Bulimia nervosa relates to recurrent episodes of binge eating, which are characterized by both the inordinate consumption of an amount of food in a discrete period (for example, within any two-hour period), with a sense of lack of control during the episode, followed by recurrent, inappropriate compensatory behaviors to prevent weight gain, such as self-induced vomiting, misuse of laxatives, diuretics or other medications, or excessive exercise. Numerous factors can give rise to conditions like anorexia and bulimia, and these are both internal and external. While men and women and both prone to these eating disorders, they affect mostly women, and often begin in the early teenage years, as issues of self-esteem, body image, and peer [...]

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7 Toxic Traits in a Relationship

7 Toxic Traits in a Relationship

Kate Motaung2025-03-18T15:17:52+00:00July 28th, 2022|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

What does it take to have a healthy relationship – devoid of toxic traits – in which the people in it feel loved for who they are, and are given room to grow and express who God made them to be? People crave meaningful relationships, but this is far from simple to achieve because we bring our complicated histories, expectations, and weaknesses into our relationships. To have a healthy relationship thus requires the people in it to have a mature self-awareness, be capable of growth and change, and be willing to forgive the other from the heart. Though you may be in a toxic relationship, you may not be aware that the relationship has a toxic traits. Certain ways of relating to others may seem normal to you, and you may not even consider questioning those ways of thinking and being, or whether they’re good for you because they are part of a long-established pattern. Valencia Christian Counseling offers faith-based guidance to help individuals recognize unhealthy relationship patterns and find healing through biblical wisdom and support. On the other hand, the unhealthy dynamics in your relationship may be a recent development or one that exists in a particular relationship, such as with your spouse, children, or colleagues. Pinpointing these behaviors is the first step toward moving the relationship in a healthy direction. Toxic Traits to Watch for in a Relationship Constant conflict People argue. We have different outlooks on life – a wide variety of personalities, interests, expectations, desires, gifts, and capacities. Our differences don’t have to divide us, and our similarities should unite us, but it happens often enough that difference creates distance, and our similarities can cause friction. Two people in a relationship may want the same thing, but because they see different paths to get there, [...]

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When the World is an Angry Place: 23 Helpful Bible Verses about Anger

When the World is an Angry Place: 23 Helpful Bible Verses about Anger

Kate Motaung2025-03-18T15:42:30+00:00March 23rd, 2022|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Do you ever feel guilty for being angry over something you care about? Or do you find yourself feeling justified in your anger toward certain events or people? There’s no shortage of things that make us angry, and you don’t have to look far to find them. In response to political and social issues, everyday occurrences like bad traffic or being treated poorly by others, anger is a far too common reaction to the world around us. Add to that the stress that has been generated by being in a pandemic over the last few years, and we have a cocktail of worry and anger. And it’s not just Americans that have been feeling this way. According to the latest Gallup Global Emotions Report, in the last few years, the world has been a more worried and more stressed-out, sadder, and angrier place than it has been at any time in the past fifteen years. The Bible helps us to come to grips with the complexity of anger, helping us to understand the roots of our anger, as well as the devastating effects of our anger. While we learn from the following Bible verses about anger that God also gets stirred to wrath, we are shown that God gets angry because of sin and that he is slow to anger. Valencia Christian Counseling provides biblical guidance to help individuals manage anger in a healthy, Christ-centered way, fostering spiritual growth and emotional healing. The description of God’s character from Exodus 33:19, for example, emphasizes the merciful and gracious character of the Lord, whose steadfast love and forgiveness extend to thousands in contrast to the few upon whom he visits his anger. Our inclinations often run in the opposite direction. The Bible warns us that anger can be either righteous or sinful, [...]

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10 Bible Passages About Grief

10 Bible Passages About Grief

Kate Motaung2025-03-18T16:30:32+00:00February 16th, 2022|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Though it is a natural part of life, we don’t like grief, and it can make us and others around us feel awkward and uncomfortable. Still, everyone will face occasions for grief since loss comes in many forms: the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job or an opportunity, the loss of a relationship, the loss of physical abilities associated with aging or illness, and even moving which involves the losses of neighborhood, community, and associations such as your church or gardening club. Valencia Christian Counseling offers compassionate, faith-based support to help individuals process grief and find healing through God’s comfort and wisdom. 10 Helpful Bible Passages about Grief The Bible offers a forthright approach to grief and can provide tremendous comfort for those who grieve. The Bible can also give you words for comforting others in their times of grief. Below are ten Bible passages about grief. There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, … a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance… – Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, 4 You will have experiences common to everyone, such as birth and death, planting and harvesting, weeping, and laughing, mourning, and dancing. You can probably fill in the blanks with times and seasons of your own, like working and resting, sleeping, and rising, learning, and teaching, parenting, and grandparenting. Each of these activities may also present the risk of grief that comes with the inherent risks involved with loving others. However, the circle will keep turning, and times and seasons will change. You can take comfort in the knowledge that others understand [...]

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3 Ways to Listen When Someone Shares about Their Mental Health

3 Ways to Listen When Someone Shares about Their Mental Health

Caitlin Mallery2025-03-18T16:41:24+00:00February 7th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

Helping people with their mental health is not as simple as changing diets or taking medications. Having a community of compassionate listeners is essential to the well-being of the brokenhearted, the anxious, and the depressed. Perhaps you have a friend who has just shared their struggle with depression after a significant loss. Maybe your sister reveals that she has panic attacks in certain situations. You could have learned that your child has anxiety, ADHD, or is on the autism spectrum. Valencia Christian Counseling offers faith-based support and guidance to help individuals and families navigate mental health challenges with wisdom, compassion, and biblical truth. A recent trauma could cause a significant change in your spouse’s behaviors and attitudes. As a compassionate individual, you want to be present in supporting the people you love through their mental health journey. Listening is one of the most crucial skills that you can learn in communication. This may be challenging if you are a rapid-fire analytical person. Some may be naturally gifted at listening, or just tend to be quieter, but even if that describes you, there may still be ways that you can improve your ability. As with many skills, you will become better with practice and patience. Even the chattiest people can learn to become amazing listeners. Three Ways to Listen to Someone Sharing about their Mental Health When someone is experiencing mental health struggles, they long for a feeling of safety and acceptance. You can give that to them by being a good listener. You will become a trusted resource for them as they heal and learn to live with their struggle. Listening with Your Ears The ears are the body part with which you take in sounds. This will be where you start the practice of listening, but certainly not [...]

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