Individual Counseling

The Definition of Trauma

2024-10-29T18:37:47+00:00November 13th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Words matter. Using the wrong word to describe something may mislead someone in terms of finding the appropriate help for a problem. It’s also possible to minimize a serious problem by either using the wrong word or by using the correct word inappropriately. When that happens (such as with the definition of trauma), you may not get the help you need because the situation may not seem serious enough to warrant it. One such word that needs to be understood properly is “trauma.” In everyday interactions, people sometimes say they were traumatized by something when perhaps it may be more accurate to say they felt embarrassed or slightly uncomfortable because of the situation. That can have the unintended effect of minimizing trauma. On the other hand, it may be difficult for someone to acknowledge that an experience they had was traumatic or that they suffered trauma. The word can carry heavy connotations that the individual wishes to avoid for one reason or another. However, if you’ve experienced trauma, it’s important to receive appropriate care. What is the definition of trauma? With all that in mind, what is the definition of trauma? One way to understand the definition of trauma is that it describes any type of distressing event or experience that a person undergoes that can have an impact on their ability to cope and function in everyday life. Many people experience some kind of traumatic event in their lifetime, whether it’s undergoing a life-threatening illness, experiencing the unexpected death of a loved one, or being involved in an accident. The kind of impact trauma can have on a person can be either emotional, physical, or psychological. According to the American Psychological Association, “Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape, or natural disaster.” [...]

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Symptoms of Depression in Men: 10 Bible Verses of New Hope

2024-10-29T18:37:57+00:00August 24th, 2023|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

Depression, although perhaps more openly acknowledged among women, affects men equally in its severity. Stressful lives lead us to worry and grow anxious over matters that, if not resolved, can lead to depression in men. Questions plague us: Can I make this deal with the new client work? What do I feed the family for dinner tonight? How will I afford this trip to the dentist that I simply can’t avoid? How can I make my wife happier? The list is endless. The following Bible verses on symptoms of depression in men help allay fears and give new hope to men (and women) struggling in this area. God stays close in hardship. The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18, NIV This psalm is rich in sayings from David on how the Lord will save, redeem and protect those who believe in His power. The wicked will be slain. Do good and seek peace and you will not be condemned. God hears your cry for help in all matters. Symptoms of depression in men can be caused by problems we face every day at work, at home, or socializing with those who envy or hate us. Even Jesus cried over the death of Lazarus and felt miserable. Meditating on this verse helps us to remember that God is with us, He has a heart of compassion toward us and is there to comfort and pick us up when we hit rock bottom. God will lead you. The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. – Deuteronomy 31:8, NIV Moses spoke these words when he was 120! He was telling his followers he would not be crossing the [...]

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Bible Verses about Forgiveness: The Wonder of Being Forgiven

2024-10-03T12:57:22+00:00August 3rd, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

In this article, we'll consider several Bible verses about forgiveness and what it means to forgive and be forgiven. Forgiveness is a hard thing for many to imagine. Holding grudges, and keeping a record of slights, big or small, real or perceived, is the natural tendency of humans. It is a tendency based on self-preservation. When trauma and hurt have occurred, the instinct toward self-preservation is heightened. So why should you practice forgiving the pains that others have caused you? Bible Verses about Forgiveness Who benefits from forgiveness? The answer may surprise you, but it is not the forgiven party, but rather the one doing the forgiving. There may even be times where the forgiven person has no idea that they hurt you in the first place. Forgiveness will ultimately have a much deeper impact on you. You will experience peace of mind and heart. You will be able to set boundaries with toxic people. You will have grace for mistakes. You will be patient when things become complicated. Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. – Matthew 18:21-22, NIV This practice of forgiveness is not often a once-and-done experience. You may need to search your heart and do so repeatedly. By bringing it to God you become more aware of his great mercy and forgiveness toward you. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. – Colossians 3:13, NIV Do you need it? The short answer is YES. The longer answer is you probably don’t even know all the things for which you [...]

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Easy Stress Management Activities

2024-10-03T12:38:10+00:00May 26th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Stress is a part of our daily lives. You may have everything scheduled, and then overwhelming tasks and responsibilities will stress you out, or an emergency will derail your plans. Whether the stress is acute or chronic, the pressure can lead to physical, emotional, and mental challenges. On top of that, your relationships can suffer. For all of these reasons you may need to implement stress management into your routine. Sometimes, implementing stress management activities can stress you out even more. Perhaps that’s because what you tried before were activities that seemed too structured. On the other hand, it could be that what works great for one person isn’t necessarily the best stress-reducing activity for another person. For example, your friend might play golf to relax, but the mere thought of putting the ball into eighteen holes stresses you out. Everyone is different, and your stress management activities should reflect your personality and be something you enjoy. Eight easy stress management activities Why make stress management activities stressful? That certainly does not work when it comes to lowering cortisol (stress hormone) levels or calming your fight-or-flight response. Stress is a natural reaction, but our minds translate events like deadlines and overdue bills as threats. In addition, long-term stress can result in chronic inflammation, which researchers have found is behind various physical and mental conditions. The following is a list of stress-busting, easy activities you can do today. Note the ones you want to try and schedule them into your day. Even a five or ten-minute break can make all the difference. Start walking. Walking is an easy activity you can do at your own pace. As you walk, even at a stroll, the brain releases endorphins that leave you feeling happy and relaxed. Have you ever taken a walk [...]

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How to Identify Anger Problems and What To Do About Them

2024-10-29T18:38:20+00:00May 19th, 2023|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

It seems as though one can find anger around every corner in daily life. If you turn on the news, you’re bound to hear a story sooner or later about someone with anger problems who harmed another person or an animal because they were angry about one thing or another. You may encounter politicians or their supporters of different ideological persuasions shouting at each other everywhere from city council meetings to the US Senate. If you go to the grocery store, you may hear someone complaining to a store employee or having a go at another customer because they cut in line. If you go online and scroll through your social media feeds, there’s no shortage of anger boiling over there regarding social, political, environmental, and other issues. Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. What is anger? Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity. It can range from feeling mild irritation to intense rage. Anger is accompanied by physiological and biological changes. The stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol, increase causing heart rate and blood pressure to go up. Is anger an issue? Expressing anger. The instinctive way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to perceived threat. The mental, physiological, and emotional response inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors that prepare us to defend ourselves when we are attached. People use conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. Three approaches people use to deal with their anger are assertively expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive – not aggressive – manner is the healthiest. Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger. Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can [...]

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Treatment Options for Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)

2024-10-29T18:38:29+00:00January 7th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

Periods are a normal part of life for the majority of women and teenage girls. At worst, it’s a monthly pain; at best, it serves as a gentle reminder that our bodies are functioning as they should. However, the start of menstruation can feel miserable for girls with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). What is Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder? PMDD is a collection of both physical and emotional symptoms, much like its more well-known but milder cousin, premenstrual syndrome (PMS). They happen just before your period, during the menstrual cycle’s luteal phase when the uterus prepares for the possibility of pregnancy by secreting an increased number of hormones. PMS and PMDD symptoms frequently resemble one another and include: Feelings of depression, anxiety, irritability, or even rage that appear out of nowhere are referred to as being moody. Excessive crying or sobbing without cause. Intense sensitivity to rejection: worrying that everyone is upset or angry with you. Feeling overburdened or like you’re barely getting by. Difficulty staying focused or having trouble staying on task. Changing or decreasing one’s appetite. Physical symptoms such as exhaustion, bloating, cramps, headaches, tender breasts, and body aches. Typically, symptoms appear 5-8 days before your period, but they can appear earlier. Once your period starts, the symptoms stop. PMDD can begin at any point after puberty. So, what’s the difference? Around their periods, approximately 75% of women and girls report some emotional and physical discomfort, but PMS typically has a minor effect on their lives. The signs of premenstrual dysphoric disorder are much more severe, and they frequently lead to issues that last long after the tampon box has been put back in the cabinet. Although everyone experiences mood swings before the start of their periods, Stephanie Samar, PsyD, a clinical psychologist who works with young women at [...]

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4 Myths about Aging That May Be Limiting Your Potential

2024-10-30T10:45:44+00:00November 26th, 2022|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Knowing how to handle aging can feel challenging, but you have a say in what happens as you age. Start by taking your aging self seriously so that you can start taking precautions right away. The aging process can be controlled in part by you, one tiny step at a time. You don’t have to fall for the many age-related myths. 4 Myths about Aging Here are four myths about aging to consider on your journey: Myth #1: During your retirement years, you should do nothing but relax and enjoy life. Our culture has conditioned us to believe many age-related myths, such as that once we reach retirement age, life will be all about leisure and relaxation. There is a place for leisure and relaxation, and different people will define these in different ways. It is important to recognize, however, that leisure and relaxation do not mean doing nothing and avoiding growth. Whether you’re financially prepared or not, it’s difficult to imagine that you can spend the majority of your retirement years just relaxing. Many people find themselves living for decades after retirement, especially with life expectancy rising. Doing nothing for decades is not beneficial, and it can be harmful to your health. The idea that you shouldn’t do anything but relax when you get older is probably one of the aging myths that causes the most harm. Can you imagine what would happen to your brain and body if you spent the majority of your later years watching TV rather than pushing yourself to experience new and exciting things that would help you learn and grow? Traditionally, we have viewed longevity as three linear, clean life stages. The way that we view retirement years in the modern world is more cyclical and interspersed between stages as a result [...]

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Bible Verses About Fear To Help You Address It

2024-10-30T10:45:53+00:00November 16th, 2022|Individual Counseling|

There’s a whole season in the American calendar that’s dedicated to fear. Around Halloween, we dress up in costumes and some of them are quite scary. We decorate our front lawns to look like spooky castles. In theaters, on television, and on our streaming services, there’s plenty of fare for the horror aficionado. Why do we want to scare ourselves so much? There’s a line of reasoning that says that we simulate fear in controlled environments because fear feels exciting when it activates our fight-or-flight response. Our routinized behavior can feel boring, so being scared makes us feel more alert and aware. When we’re scared, we focus on the here and now, and we aren’t preoccupied with what needs to happen tomorrow or with what happened yesterday. When we know we’re safe, those feelings of fear can be interpreted as a positive experience. Making it through scary but safe activities can help you feel like you can take on whatever the world throws at you. When it comes to getting scared in simulated environments, we can find pleasure in those experiences. However, while this kind of scary-but-fun fear has that component of fun, our other fears aren’t so pleasurable. Why do we fear? Why is it that we feel fear, and why isn’t that regular type of fear fun in any kind of way? The difference between the scary-but-fun type of fear and our everyday fears is that the latter doesn’t have a safety net beneath it. It’s all tight rope, and a sheer drop beneath. What is unknown and is out of our control is often what we find most fearful, and we get scared in our everyday lives precisely because we know that we’re not safe. The scares aren’t contained in the frame of the movie or [...]

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Waging War Against Anorexia and Bulimia

2024-10-30T10:46:35+00:00August 3rd, 2022|Christian Counseling For Teens, Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling|

According to studies by the EDC (Eating Disorders Coalition), at least 28.8 million Americans will suffer from an eating disorder such as anorexia and bulimia in their lifetime; four out of ten individuals have either personally experienced one or know someone who has, and eating disorders have the second highest mortality rate of any mental illness. These are frightening statistics, and the numbers are likely only getting higher as our society emerges into a post-pandemic world fraught with complex problems and myriad uncertainties. An eating disorder is defined as an unhealthy way of using food to cope with psychological stress, with a few common presentations. Anorexia nervosa centers around a restriction of energy intake relative to requirements, leading to significantly low body weight in the context of age and physical health. Anorexia creates a disturbance in the way in which one’s body weight or shape is experienced, with a persistent lack of recognition of the seriousness of the individual’s low body weight. Bulimia nervosa relates to recurrent episodes of binge eating, which are characterized by both the inordinate consumption of an amount of food in a discrete period (for example, within any two-hour period), with a sense of lack of control during the episode, followed by recurrent, inappropriate compensatory behaviors to prevent weight gain, such as self-induced vomiting, misuse of laxatives, diuretics or other medications, or excessive exercise. Numerous factors can give rise to conditions like anorexia and bulimia, and these are both internal and external. While men and women and both prone to these eating disorders, they affect mostly women, and often begin in the early teenage years, as issues of self-esteem, body image, and peer pressure take root. Eating disorders can be seen in children as young as eight years old, with a child who desires a [...]

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7 Toxic Traits in a Relationship

2024-10-30T10:46:44+00:00July 28th, 2022|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

What does it take to have a healthy relationship – devoid of toxic traits – in which the people in it feel loved for who they are, and are given room to grow and express who God made them to be? People crave meaningful relationships, but this is far from simple to achieve because we bring our complicated histories, expectations, and weaknesses into our relationships. To have a healthy relationship thus requires the people in it to have a mature self-awareness, be capable of growth and change, and be willing to forgive the other from the heart. Though you may be in a toxic relationship, you may not be aware that the relationship has a toxic traits. Certain ways of relating to others may seem normal to you, and you may not even consider questioning those ways of thinking and being, or whether they’re good for you because they are part of a long-established pattern. On the other hand, the unhealthy dynamics in your relationship may be a recent development or one that exists in a particular relationship, such as with your spouse, children, or colleagues. Pinpointing these behaviors is the first step toward moving the relationship in a healthy direction. Toxic Traits to Watch for in a Relationship Constant conflict People argue. We have different outlooks on life – a wide variety of personalities, interests, expectations, desires, gifts, and capacities. Our differences don’t have to divide us, and our similarities should unite us, but it happens often enough that difference creates distance, and our similarities can cause friction. Two people in a relationship may want the same thing, but because they see different paths to get there, that can be a cause of conflict. Conflict in a relationship isn’t a bad thing. It allows people to clarify their [...]

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