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Living with ADHD as a Christian: How God Can Use Your ADHD for His Glory

Living with ADHD as a Christian: How God Can Use Your ADHD for His Glory

Stephanie Kramer2025-03-27T04:57:36+00:00March 27th, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Spiritual Development|

Living with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can be a challenge. It can make you feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. The way you think and process information can differ significantly from those around you. You may have been labeled with unfair tags such as “lazy” or “hyper”. And all of this may make you wonder if you will ever fit into the non-ADHD world. God doesn’t make mistakes. He designed you with a purpose, ADHD and all. The very traits that may seem like obstacles and challenges can be gifts when used in the right way. Your energy, creativity, and ability to think outside the box are strengths that our broken and hurting world desperately needs. The beauty of the family of God, His perfect plan, is room and purpose for all of His children. His “hyper” kids may just be the perfect youth pastors, bringing enthusiasm and life to the gospel. God’s kids who are easily distracted may thrive as compassionate social workers in a high-paced environment. And one of His “kids” with hyper-focus may just hyper-fixate enough to find a cure for a major disease someday. Throughout the Bible, God used people who didn’t fit the mold. Moses doubted his speaking ability, yet God made him a great leader. Peter was impulsive, yet God used him to build His church. David was the youngest and most overlooked, yet God called him to be a king. Your ADHD doesn’t disqualify you; it equips you! Don’t let the world, in its fallible wisdom and pessimistic outlooks tell you that your ADHD-inspired behavior makes you less-than, unworthy, unproductive, or unusable. God has a perfect plan, tailored and curated, just for you. He knew you and He made you before you were born and [...]

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When Men Get Postpartum Depression

When Men Get Postpartum Depression

Cyndi Kay Green2025-03-11T16:57:36+00:00March 7th, 2025|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

When we discuss postpartum depression, we typically think about women. But the reality is that men can also be affected by postpartum depression. Bringing a baby into the family is a big change for everyone. Though the dad may not experience the pain, there is still the struggle with exhaustion and stress that come with having a newborn in the home. These are a normal part of the birth of a child. However, they can lead to the onset of symptoms that are in line with postpartum depression. Valencia Christian Counseling can provide support and guidance to help navigate this season of life. It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you nor forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. – Deuteronomy 31:8, ESV Factors That Play a Role in Postpartum Depression Men who suffer from postpartum depression usually notice the symptoms when the baby is three to six months old. Various factors play a part in male postpartum depression. Moms who are depressed When the mom shows signs of postpartum depression, about half of the men will begin to show signs of depression, as well. Sleep deprivation It is no secret that new parents struggle with proper sleep right after the birth of the baby. This deprivation can cause depression and anxiety Hormones Men can experience a change in testosterone levels after the birth of a baby. Feeling of disconnection from mom and the newborn Dads sometimes feel disconnected due to the mom being more hands-on and focused on bonding. Family history of depression If there is a history of depression, the male is more likely to experience postpartum depression. Adjusting to parenthood Becoming a parent can seem overwhelming. Parenting requires the ability to cope with many changes. [...]

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Night Terrors in Adults: What Are They?

Night Terrors in Adults: What Are They?

Joanna Kucherera2025-03-11T16:25:24+00:00February 28th, 2025|Anxiety, Depression, Featured, Grief Counseling|

Night terrors, or sleep terrors, are episodes where a sleeping person suddenly begins trembling, sweating, shouting, and may even thrash or walk around as if in a state of fear. These episodes can last anywhere between thirty seconds to an hour or more but are usually over quite quickly. While the person experiencing this episode is unconscious and completely unaware of their actions, it can be distressing for others to witness. Night terrors affect 40% of the child population and only about 2.2% of the adult population. People will generally only experience night terrors as adults if they also experienced them as children. While night terrors can be disruptive to others, they should not cause too much concern for the person experiencing them. They should not be an indicator of poor mental health, for example, though they can be linked to stress and caffeine intake. What are night terrors? Night terrors are part of a broad category of a sleep disorder called parasomnia, of which there are six recognized conditions. These are sleepwalking (somnambulism), teeth grinding, REM sleep behavior disorder, nocturnal sleep-related disorder, nightmares, and night terrors. A person may experience one, all, or a few of these in their lifetime, although commonly they occur during pre-puberty and decline in frequency as we age. Valencia Christian Counseling offers guidance and support to help navigate sleep-related challenges. When we sleep, we experience two types of sleep: non-Rapid Eye Movement sleep (non-REM), and Rapid Eye Movement sleep (REM). In the first stage, we go from dozing off to deep sleep-in cycles over four or more hours. Our brain activity slows and changes, our body temperature drops, and our breathing slows. In the early hours, we begin REM sleep. Our brain activity picks up to the same levels as when we are [...]

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Adverse Childhood Experiences and Abandonment Issues in Relationships

Adverse Childhood Experiences and Abandonment Issues in Relationships

Kate Motaung2025-03-11T17:13:55+00:00January 22nd, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Childhood is meant to be a time of exploration, growth, and fun as a child finds their way in the world. Unfortunately, that isn’t every child’s story. Children struggle and go through tough hardships such as abandonment issues in relationships just like adults. Those experiences can affect their development, how they form bonds, and how they relate to other people. Abandonment Issues in Relationships The term “attachment style” refers to how a person is able to form emotional bonds with others, and the kinds of expectations they carry with them into those relationships. There are four main attachment styles, which are: secure, avoidant-dismissive, anxious or ambivalent, and disorganized attachment styles. These styles describe the ways people interact with others and behave in relationships. Valencia Christian Counseling can help individuals explore their attachment styles and develop healthier relationship patterns. When a person experiences consistent care, they are more confident that their needs will be met. This will typically lead to a secure form of attachment. This type of attachment leads to expectations that others will be responsive to their needs, and they can feel safe with others. If this sense of confidence is forged during a critical development period such as infancy, childhood, and adolescence, it will have a lasting impact. Abandonment issues vary, but they all typically stem from not having one’s needs met consistently or being subjected to unhealthy patterns of behavior during the formative years. These may cause a person to be wary of others, to struggle with closeness with loved ones, to be unwilling to be vulnerable in sharing thoughts and feelings with others, and preemptively sabotage relationships to avoid being abandoned. A person with an insecure attachment style may have a hard time trusting their partner, and they may be clingy and require constant reassurance [...]

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Bipolar Schizophrenia Versus Schizoaffective Disorder

Bipolar Schizophrenia Versus Schizoaffective Disorder

Sandra Stein2025-03-11T17:18:35+00:00December 10th, 2024|Bipolar Disorder, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Is bipolar schizophrenia a thing? The answer is yes and no. Bipolar disorder is characterized by extreme shifts in mood, energy level, and thinking, whereas schizophrenia causes a person to lose touch with reality. They are two separate and distinct mental health conditions, and the diagnosis of one typically excludes the other. However, there are rare cases where a person exhibits symptoms of both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder at the same time. When that happens, however, it is not diagnosed as bipolar schizophrenia, but rather as bipolar schizoaffective disorder. What is schizoaffective disorder? Schizoaffective disorder is an uncommon, chronic, mental health condition that dramatically affects the way a person thinks and copes with his or her day-to-day life. It is characterized by a mix of schizophrenic symptoms such as delusions, hallucinations, and disorganized thinking, combined with either bipolar mania or depression (schizoaffective disorder bipolar type), or a major depressive disorder (schizoaffective disorder, depressive type). Because the condition is so rare, getting the right diagnosis can be challenging. Schizoaffective disorder is one of the most frequently misdiagnosed psychiatric disorders in clinical practice and is often misidentified as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Valencia Christian Counseling provides guidance and support for those navigating complex mental health conditions. How is bipolar schizoaffective disorder diagnosed? There are two steps to diagnosing bipolar schizoaffective disorder. The first one is a medical evaluation to rule out any other physical or neurological condition that might be causing the symptoms. The other focuses on the diagnostic criteria of the disorder. According to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR), for a person to be diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder bipolar type, he or she needs to meet the following criteria. The person must have an uninterrupted period of illness during which he or she [...]

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Doing the Work: Self, Spiritual Goals, and Personal Growth

Doing the Work: Self, Spiritual Goals, and Personal Growth

Kate Motaung2025-03-11T17:24:57+00:00November 29th, 2024|Featured, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

Spiritual goals and growth are not about practicing more religious habits. While those can be external reflections of a relationship with Christ, the root of it occurs in our hearts. Becoming more like Jesus originates in shared time and surrender. Sometimes, we have notions about what we think serving God is supposed to be. Yet, we haven't always inquired with our Father about what that looks like for us, considering how He formed us and fit us in various roles and responsibilities, with distinct spiritual aptitudes and natural abilities. God wants to shape our lives in ways that will not only transform us but also impact our environment. Sometimes, we are preoccupied with the reverse. We envision shifting outside conditions, believing that internal transformation pivots on shifting circumstances. This externalizes our joy, resting it on outside sources with no real guarantee that they will produce the difference we desire. A few well-placed changes may suffice temporarily, but they won't bring the abiding peace and long-term transformation that glorifies God and blesses us and others. Valencia Christian Counseling can help guide you toward lasting, faith-based transformation. Instead, Jesus invites us to journey with Him into our souls to dig deep concerning our spiritual goals and growth. As we yield, the Holy Spirit does the work of changing our lives from the inside out. He may rearrange circumstances, but He often begins with our character. Ultimately, He transforms us, enabling us to make environmental changes reflective of who He is and what He's doing within our souls. The following outline a few ways we can follow His lead, with spiritual integrity and practical simplicity. Self-Reflection The mirror of God's Word enables us to accurately see ourselves as God does (James 1:23-24). Often, the world's noise distracts and infiltrates our souls with [...]

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Examples of Professional Boundaries and Why They Matter

Examples of Professional Boundaries and Why They Matter

Kate Motaung2025-03-11T17:30:16+00:00October 1st, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

Work is a good thing, even though it can be hard or feel unrewarding at times. A person’s work can provide a sense of meaning and an outlet for their creative gifts, and it allows them to provide for themselves and their family. However, work can take over one’s life and transgress professional boundaries, occupying more space than it should. This can have detrimental effects on a person’s health as well as their relationships. Having a decent work-life balance helps to minimize the negative effects of work taking over one’s life. Maintaining that balance requires reliable professional boundaries. Valencia Christian Counseling can provide guidance on setting healthy boundaries and achieving a fulfilling balance. Understanding boundaries A physical boundary is a line of some kind that tells you where one thing ends, and another begins. A boundary could be the walls of your apartment which distinguishes your space from your neighbor’s space. If you have a parking space at work, the boundary that marks your spot out is usually a set of lines and an inscription that indicates what you have exclusive access to. In our relationships, we won’t often have physical lines that work the same way, but that doesn’t mean boundaries don’t exist or that they don’t matter. When it comes to how we relate to others, boundaries are, according to the American Psychological Association, “a psychological demarcation that protects the integrity of an individual or group or that helps the person or group set realistic limits on participation in a relationship or activity.” A boundary says, in effect, “This is me, and this is you.” We are all made uniquely in God’s image, with our opinions, values, abilities, personalities, tolerances, loves, pet peeves, and everything that makes us who we are. These are what distinguish us from the [...]

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Why Building Self-Esteem is Important

Why Building Self-Esteem is Important

Kate Motaung2025-03-11T17:52:38+00:00September 30th, 2024|Depression, Family Counseling, Featured, Personal Development|

Self-esteem may seem like something we all have, and there is little we can do to change it. The facts of who we are determine how we see ourselves, and there is no changing those, right? Don’t be so sure. The reality is our perception of ourselves is often subjective and influenced by our circumstances. For example, how do you feel after spending time chatting with those you love, versus spending time scrolling social media? You will likely feel comfortable and happy after a meaningful, edifying conversation rather than considering the advantages of others who are enjoying and living their best life. Valencia Christian Counseling can help shift your focus toward healthier self-perception and fulfillment. Maintaining and building self-esteem is important as it can be the reason you feel good and take care of yourself, versus feeling like you just cannot be bothered. The messages and advice many have heard throughout their lives are to believe in themselves and to love themselves. These may feel motivational, but how can they last and what is their application to daily life? After all, the advantages of having high self-esteem far outweigh the significant disadvantages attached to a low view of yourself. To get a handle on why building self-esteem is important, consider the definition that self-esteem is how we evaluate and understand ourselves. It's based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves. These opinions can feel difficult to change. Self-confidence is another way of thinking about self-esteem. Therefore, admiring and respecting yourself is a key part of having healthy self-esteem. But why building self-esteem is important goes beyond that. It is coupled with ascribing to yourself admiration, respect, dignity, and love. In believing in yourself, you unlock the capacity to learn and contribute to the world around you as well as [...]

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Do You Need a Certified Life Coach?

Do You Need a Certified Life Coach?

Melissa Plantz2025-03-11T17:54:39+00:00August 29th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

In a world of constant changes and transitions, you don’t have to navigate it alone. While friends and family can be a great source of support, there are limitations. They may offer advice that isn’t always helpful or overlook issues that could hinder your progress. This is where a certified life coach can step in. A certified life coach is an expert in a particular area based on their own experiences. Unlike a counselor or therapist, a certified life coach does not diagnose or treat mental health conditions. Instead, they focus on posing questions, active listening, and suggesting steps to help you reach your goals. Why you should consider a certified life coach. A life coach can be anyone who uses their skills, past experiences, and successes to help others reach their goals in the same area of expertise. The industry for life coaches is unregulated, but a certified life coach has the added advantage of having taken the required training and learned skills to communicate effectively with various people. Valencia Christian Counseling offers faith-based guidance to help individuals grow and achieve their goals with clarity and purpose. If you plan to make a major change in your life or see if it is possible, a certified life coach can help you get started. You can find a coach in just about any industry. For example, if you are trying to lose weight and get healthy after years of dieting, a certified life coach in the health and wellness arena could help you set goals, choose one goal to focus on, and create a plan. As you progress toward your goal, the life coach supports you by checking in and helping you reassess and adjust, as necessary. What a certified life coach could do for you You want to [...]

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Healthy Ways of Finding Self-Acceptance

Healthy Ways of Finding Self-Acceptance

Jennifer Kooshian2025-03-12T09:37:15+00:00August 27th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

In your lifetime, there will only be a small group of people who can say that they’ve known you for most of your life. Your folks, older relatives, your siblings, and some friends from the neighborhood that you’ve somehow managed to stay in touch with will be among these. As we go through life, relationships end and we part ways with people, and by the time one is 25-40, there’s typically only a small circle of people we truly know and trust, which makes self-acceptance important. Of course, as you go throughout life, you’re doing it with and as yourself. In whatever situation you find yourself in, you’re bringing your thoughts, hopes, dreams, deepest fears, gifts, and everything that you are. As you make decisions, work, engage in relationships, have conflicts, make up, and apologize, you do these things in accordance with your values or beliefs, though sometimes you may choose to compromise. Valencia Christian Counseling helps individuals navigate life’s challenges while staying true to their faith and values. Whatever else happens in your other relationships, you should be able to live with yourself at the end of the day. Being able to accept yourself and be content is such an amazing gift because it has many implications for your well-being. The struggle for self-acceptance Self-acceptance allows you to face the world with confidence, and it also allows you to be more impervious to criticism. When you accept yourself, you see yourself for who you are without pretense or judgment. You can recognize your own strengths, accomplishments, and weaknesses, and you can see your value and see yourself with sober judgment without needing the approval of others. Accepting yourself helps you to navigate the world better without the harsh background noise of what other people think. You’re [...]

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