Kate Motaung, Valencia Christian Counseling

Doing the Work: Self, Spiritual Goals, and Personal Growth

Doing the Work: Self, Spiritual Goals, and Personal Growth

Kate Motaung2024-12-06T17:58:34+00:00November 29th, 2024|Featured, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

Spiritual goals and growth are not about practicing more religious habits. While those can be external reflections of a relationship with Christ, the root of it occurs in our hearts. Becoming more like Jesus originates in shared time and surrender. Sometimes, we have notions about what we think serving God is supposed to be. Yet, we haven't always inquired with our Father about what that looks like for us, considering how He formed us and fit us in various roles and responsibilities, with distinct spiritual aptitudes and natural abilities. God wants to shape our lives in ways that will not only transform us but also impact our environment. Sometimes, we are preoccupied with the reverse. We envision shifting outside conditions, believing that internal transformation pivots on shifting circumstances. This externalizes our joy, resting it on outside sources with no real guarantee that they will produce the difference we desire. A few well-placed changes may suffice temporarily, but they won't bring the abiding peace and long-term transformation that glorifies God and blesses us and others. Instead, Jesus invites us to journey with Him into our souls to dig deep concerning our spiritual goals and growth. As we yield, the Holy Spirit does the work of changing our lives from the inside out. He may rearrange circumstances, but He often begins with our character. Ultimately, He transforms us, enabling us to make environmental changes reflective of who He is and what He's doing within our souls. The following outline a few ways we can follow His lead, with spiritual integrity and practical simplicity. Self-Reflection The mirror of God's Word enables us to accurately see ourselves as God does (James 1:23-24). Often, the world's noise distracts and infiltrates our souls with toxins that blur our vision, blinding us to the influences that [...]

Comments Off

Examples of Professional Boundaries and Why They Matter

Examples of Professional Boundaries and Why They Matter

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T10:43:23+00:00October 1st, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

Work is a good thing, even though it can be hard or feel unrewarding at times. A person’s work can provide a sense of meaning and an outlet for their creative gifts, and it allows them to provide for themselves and their family. However, work can take over one’s life and transgress professional boundaries, occupying more space than it should. This can have detrimental effects on a person’s health as well as their relationships. Having a decent work-life balance helps to minimize the negative effects of work taking over one’s life. Maintaining that balance requires reliable professional boundaries. Understanding boundaries A physical boundary is a line of some kind that tells you where one thing ends, and another begins. A boundary could be the walls of your apartment which distinguishes your space from your neighbor’s space. If you have a parking space at work, the boundary that marks your spot out is usually a set of lines and an inscription that indicates what you have exclusive access to. In our relationships, we won’t often have physical lines that work the same way, but that doesn’t mean boundaries don’t exist or that they don’t matter. When it comes to how we relate to others, boundaries are, according to the American Psychological Association, “a psychological demarcation that protects the integrity of an individual or group or that helps the person or group set realistic limits on participation in a relationship or activity.” A boundary says, in effect, “This is me, and this is you.” We are all made uniquely in God’s image, with our opinions, values, abilities, personalities, tolerances, loves, pet peeves, and everything that makes us who we are. These are what distinguish us from the next person. Your boundaries protect your integrity, and they guide others in how to interact [...]

Comments Off

Why Building Self-Esteem is Important

Why Building Self-Esteem is Important

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T10:43:29+00:00September 30th, 2024|Depression, Family Counseling, Featured, Personal Development|

Self-esteem may seem like something we all have, and there is little we can do to change it. The facts of who we are determine how we see ourselves, and there is no changing those, right? Don’t be so sure. The reality is our perception of ourselves is often subjective and influenced by our circumstances. For example, how do you feel after spending time chatting with those you love, versus spending time scrolling social media? You will likely feel comfortable and happy after a meaningful, edifying conversation rather than considering the advantages of others who are enjoying and living their best life. Maintaining and building self-esteem is important as it can be the reason you feel good and take care of yourself, versus feeling like you just cannot be bothered. The messages and advice many have heard throughout their lives are to believe in themselves and to love themselves. These may feel motivational, but how can they last and what is their application to daily life? After all, the advantages of having high self-esteem far outweigh the significant disadvantages attached to a low view of yourself. To get a handle on why building self-esteem is important, consider the definition that self-esteem is how we evaluate and understand ourselves. It's based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves. These opinions can feel difficult to change. Self-confidence is another way of thinking about self-esteem. Therefore, admiring and respecting yourself is a key part of having healthy self-esteem. But why building self-esteem is important goes beyond that. It is coupled with ascribing to yourself admiration, respect, dignity, and love. In believing in yourself, you unlock the capacity to learn and contribute to the world around you as well as trust yourself to do a good job. You have an assurance that your [...]

Comments Off

Taking New Territory: Navigating Transition, Relationships, and Boundaries

Taking New Territory: Navigating Transition, Relationships, and Boundaries

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T18:37:19+00:00April 29th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Venturing into unfamiliar territory can be somewhat frightening, but it is part of a maturing believer’s evolution and transformation. As we discover more about the Lord we encounter who He has called and created us to be. In this, we come to rest and rely on Him as He winds our path out of familiarity and deeper into the unknown where faith alone sustains, helping us to set proper boundaries. Abram and Sarai experienced this as they sojourned through unfamiliar territory in search of a promised homeland. Having left most of their family except for Lot, Abraham’s nephew, they weren’t sure of all the future would produce. What they discovered was a handful of promises from the Almighty and a yearning for a city whose builder and maker was God (Hebrews 11:8, 10). Transition Abraham’s story is one that we all live in some way or another. Transitions are built into life’s landscape. As we traverse from one season into the next, we will separate from some places and some people while engaging with new ones. Sometimes, when we carry elements of our old life into new spaces, we find disagreement and a lack of fit. It demands that we respond by making another change. Otherwise, we can experience the discord that often ensues when we cling to what the Lord wants us to leave in the old season. Territory Though he left the majority of his family, Abraham pivoted again. This time, it meant creating a boundary and separating his people, property, and possessions from Lot. When we first consider this, it can appear as if Abraham is being harsh in setting a boundary. If we read more closely, we will see that he is conveying love for his nephew by launching into new territory. Lot couldn’t grow [...]

Comments Off

4 Issues Commonly Addressed in Family Counseling

4 Issues Commonly Addressed in Family Counseling

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T18:37:37+00:00January 4th, 2024|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

The family that we are born into or adopted into affects every aspect of our lives. The nature of the home environment has a significant impact on an individual’s future trajectory. While God designed the family to be a place of unconditional love and support, where children can experience security and emotional closeness, the family unit looks a little different in a fallen world, sometimes making family counseling necessary. Even the most loving, Christ-centered families will navigate problems, and, regardless of where you find yourself on the continuum, biblical family counseling can be a valuable tool in creating a platform for feelings to be aired and discussed. 4 Issues Commonly Addressed in Family Counseling For Christian families, biblical family counseling provides a space where a trained counselor can use tried-and-tested counseling techniques with God’s Word as a foundation. There will also be an opportunity to pray and be prayed for. This is a wonderful gift that believers have as they deal with life on this side of heaven. Some common problems addressed in family counseling include: 1. Communication issues. Communication, being able to speak one’s thoughts, listen to another’s response, and respond appropriately, is an essential skill that can prevent arguments and disagreements from escalating into anger and unproductive interactions. The inability to communicate effectively is one of the primary reasons for marital division. If spouses are unable to master this skill, poor communication likely pervades throughout the family. Family counseling is an excellent place to help develop more effective ways to talk to one another. God’s Word in James 1:19 reminds us, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. This is the starting point for effective communication habits. 2. Financial problems. Economic hardship or a change in a family’s finances can cause [...]

Comments Off

The Definition of Trauma

The Definition of Trauma

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T18:37:47+00:00November 13th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Words matter. Using the wrong word to describe something may mislead someone in terms of finding the appropriate help for a problem. It’s also possible to minimize a serious problem by either using the wrong word or by using the correct word inappropriately. When that happens (such as with the definition of trauma), you may not get the help you need because the situation may not seem serious enough to warrant it. One such word that needs to be understood properly is “trauma.” In everyday interactions, people sometimes say they were traumatized by something when perhaps it may be more accurate to say they felt embarrassed or slightly uncomfortable because of the situation. That can have the unintended effect of minimizing trauma. On the other hand, it may be difficult for someone to acknowledge that an experience they had was traumatic or that they suffered trauma. The word can carry heavy connotations that the individual wishes to avoid for one reason or another. However, if you’ve experienced trauma, it’s important to receive appropriate care. What is the definition of trauma? With all that in mind, what is the definition of trauma? One way to understand the definition of trauma is that it describes any type of distressing event or experience that a person undergoes that can have an impact on their ability to cope and function in everyday life. Many people experience some kind of traumatic event in their lifetime, whether it’s undergoing a life-threatening illness, experiencing the unexpected death of a loved one, or being involved in an accident. The kind of impact trauma can have on a person can be either emotional, physical, or psychological. According to the American Psychological Association, “Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape, or natural disaster.” [...]

Comments Off

Symptoms of Depression in Men: 10 Bible Verses of New Hope

Symptoms of Depression in Men: 10 Bible Verses of New Hope

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T18:37:57+00:00August 24th, 2023|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

Depression, although perhaps more openly acknowledged among women, affects men equally in its severity. Stressful lives lead us to worry and grow anxious over matters that, if not resolved, can lead to depression in men. Questions plague us: Can I make this deal with the new client work? What do I feed the family for dinner tonight? How will I afford this trip to the dentist that I simply can’t avoid? How can I make my wife happier? The list is endless. The following Bible verses on symptoms of depression in men help allay fears and give new hope to men (and women) struggling in this area. God stays close in hardship. The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18, NIV This psalm is rich in sayings from David on how the Lord will save, redeem and protect those who believe in His power. The wicked will be slain. Do good and seek peace and you will not be condemned. God hears your cry for help in all matters. Symptoms of depression in men can be caused by problems we face every day at work, at home, or socializing with those who envy or hate us. Even Jesus cried over the death of Lazarus and felt miserable. Meditating on this verse helps us to remember that God is with us, He has a heart of compassion toward us and is there to comfort and pick us up when we hit rock bottom. God will lead you. The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. – Deuteronomy 31:8, NIV Moses spoke these words when he was 120! He was telling his followers he would not be crossing the [...]

Comments Off

5 Signs of Depression in Children

5 Signs of Depression in Children

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T18:38:07+00:00May 25th, 2023|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Depression, Family Counseling, Featured|

It surely is a sign of sad times that depression affects 1.9 million (3.2%) children and teenagers between the ages of 3 and 17 in the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2020). In many instances, children with depression also have another coexisting condition, for example, anxiety, Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). All too often, the signs of depression in children are missed by parents, caregivers, or teachers, as they can be mistaken for normal childhood moods. Depression, however, is pervasive as a mood disorder and is not something that children can “snap out of” through distraction. Signs of depression in children Children are also not able to express their feelings easily and would typically find it very difficult to describe the kind of symptoms that depression presents. Here are five signs of depression in children to not ignore. Loss of interest in activities. Just as with adults, one of the most common signs of depression in children is a loss of interest in activities that previously brought enjoyment. Children do tend to turn their attention from one hobby to another, and this may not necessarily reflect depression. But if you notice that things that he or she always previously took pleasure in doing (reading, for example, or walking the dog) have fallen away, it could be worth paying closer attention to your child’s emotional state. Extreme reactions. Teenagers are renowned for being emotional and moody. However, one of the signs of depression in children to look out for is a constant state of fluctuating emotion over some time. You might notice that a child cries more frequently, seems to explode with anger more often than normal, or sleeps too much to deal with his or her big feelings. [...]

Comments Off

How to Identify Anger Problems and What To Do About Them

How to Identify Anger Problems and What To Do About Them

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T18:38:20+00:00May 19th, 2023|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

It seems as though one can find anger around every corner in daily life. If you turn on the news, you’re bound to hear a story sooner or later about someone with anger problems who harmed another person or an animal because they were angry about one thing or another. You may encounter politicians or their supporters of different ideological persuasions shouting at each other everywhere from city council meetings to the US Senate. If you go to the grocery store, you may hear someone complaining to a store employee or having a go at another customer because they cut in line. If you go online and scroll through your social media feeds, there’s no shortage of anger boiling over there regarding social, political, environmental, and other issues. Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. What is anger? Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity. It can range from feeling mild irritation to intense rage. Anger is accompanied by physiological and biological changes. The stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol, increase causing heart rate and blood pressure to go up. Is anger an issue? Expressing anger. The instinctive way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to perceived threat. The mental, physiological, and emotional response inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors that prepare us to defend ourselves when we are attached. People use conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. Three approaches people use to deal with their anger are assertively expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive – not aggressive – manner is the healthiest. Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger. Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can [...]

Comments Off

Treatment Options for Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)

Treatment Options for Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T18:38:29+00:00January 7th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

Periods are a normal part of life for the majority of women and teenage girls. At worst, it’s a monthly pain; at best, it serves as a gentle reminder that our bodies are functioning as they should. However, the start of menstruation can feel miserable for girls with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). What is Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder? PMDD is a collection of both physical and emotional symptoms, much like its more well-known but milder cousin, premenstrual syndrome (PMS). They happen just before your period, during the menstrual cycle’s luteal phase when the uterus prepares for the possibility of pregnancy by secreting an increased number of hormones. PMS and PMDD symptoms frequently resemble one another and include: Feelings of depression, anxiety, irritability, or even rage that appear out of nowhere are referred to as being moody. Excessive crying or sobbing without cause. Intense sensitivity to rejection: worrying that everyone is upset or angry with you. Feeling overburdened or like you’re barely getting by. Difficulty staying focused or having trouble staying on task. Changing or decreasing one’s appetite. Physical symptoms such as exhaustion, bloating, cramps, headaches, tender breasts, and body aches. Typically, symptoms appear 5-8 days before your period, but they can appear earlier. Once your period starts, the symptoms stop. PMDD can begin at any point after puberty. So, what’s the difference? Around their periods, approximately 75% of women and girls report some emotional and physical discomfort, but PMS typically has a minor effect on their lives. The signs of premenstrual dysphoric disorder are much more severe, and they frequently lead to issues that last long after the tampon box has been put back in the cabinet. Although everyone experiences mood swings before the start of their periods, Stephanie Samar, PsyD, a clinical psychologist who works with young women at [...]

Comments Off

Kate Motaung

About Kate Motaung

CONTACT INFO

Valencia Christian Counseling

ABOUT US