Premarital counseling

Most adults never learned how to manage conflict in healthy ways from their families. Yet conflict is unavoidable between two imperfect people in a close relationship. So, when you get married, neither of you may know how to manage conflict in a productive way. This can lead to many painful fights unless you address the dynamic early on.

Premarital counseling helps everyone learn how to manage conflict better. Whether you learned to vent all your feelings in anger or bottle all your feelings up, your counselor can help you process your feelings more positively. You will gain skills that will help you not only in your marriage but in all your other relationships.

Conflict in marriage is inevitable, but it isn’t inherently bad. It can help you learn more about each other, understand each other better, and respect one another more – if you manage conflict in the right way. Your counselor will role play with you, so you learn to neither avoid conflict nor inflict it on your spouse. You both can learn to disagree with one another and still respect each other’s positions.

Many conflicts arise simply due to different personality traits. Your counselor will point out the differences in your personalities that could lead to clashes later. By looking at the differences early, you’ll be much more equipped to manage them after the wedding.

Keeping Your Commitment

No engaged couple thinks the statistics will apply to them, though around half of all marriages end in divorce, including Christian marriages. However, when you attend premarital counseling, you can slash that risk since you’ll develop skills to navigate the years ahead.

It’s important to commit to one another as a team. When you marry, you become advocates for one another. This is essential when the tough times arrive because you need to feel that your partner has your back. Your counselor can help you identify areas where you may need to advocate for each other.

A common dynamic for many couples is to slowly drift apart. Many other things can take priority over the marriage, which erodes your commitment. However, your counselor can help you form plans for strengthening your commitment week after week, so your marriage retains its top priority status.

Remember, you both are sinners, and Satan will try to tempt both of you to break your commitment to one another. In counseling, you’ll learn about the traps he may lay for you so you can avoid them in the future. You’ll also learn how to use God’s Word to protect you from spiritual attack and help you fight back to preserve your marriage.

Goal Setting

It’s easy to think that you’ll go anywhere your partner wants before the wedding. If you don’t discuss your goals beforehand, you could both experience great disappointment later. A caring Christian counselor will help you discuss both individual and team goals, and ways you can work toward them as a couple.

New love tends to cloud our vision with unrealistic expectations. But when you discuss your goals with a counselor, you can gain clarity and wisdom. Your counselor will guide the discussion about your goals for career, family life, children, finances, church, and other areas. We can help you set goals in areas you may not have considered before.

Sexual and Non-Sexual Intimacy

Sex has been called the glue that holds married couples together. However, it’s not the only thing that matters in cultivating intimacy. You also need to have a plan to practice non-sexual intimacy to keep the good feelings flowing between you and your spouse.

Your counselor will lead discussions about what you both expect in terms of sexual intimacy and non-sexual intimacy. We can help you heal in any areas of hurt before your marriage begins. We can also make future discussions easier by getting things out in the open before you are married. As Christian counselors, we will also talk about how to guard your heart against temptation in this important area. You’ll gain practical and spiritual help from your counselor.

In-Law Relationships

Though we would all like to have easy relationships with our extended families, this is often not the case for newly married couples. Most of us will notice drama in our families even before the wedding begins. However, the Bible teaches married couples to leave their original families and cling to each other (Genesis 2:24), and your marriage counselor can help you know how to do this.

Whether your in-laws are overbearing or distant, we’ll help you identify ways in which you can set healthy boundaries around your marriage. Your counselor will role-play different scenarios with you, so you’ll have a plan in place when dealing with your in-laws. It’s important to talk about in-law issues before the wedding with your counselor so you can learn how to speak the truth in love and protect your marriage from future problems.

Premarital Counseling for You

If you’re ready to start premarital counseling, we are here for you. Set up your first appointment with us today. We are excited to help you prepare for many blessings to come in your marriage!