Couples Counseling

Every relationship hits a wall from time to time. Whether you need a few small fixes or a major overhaul in your relationship, a caring Christian counselor can help. Couples counseling can repair the rifts in your relationship and reconnect you with your partner.
Relationships inevitably change over time. Compared to when your relationship began, you may now have different schedules, priorities, or preferences. Your different backgrounds and ways of thinking will impact your relationship too. All these factors can influence your romantic relationship over time and create problems.

You can gain hope to face challenges that may feel overwhelming now by reaching out to a Christian counselor. In the counselor’s office, you can gain new perspective from a trusted and objective viewpoint. This new insight can help your relationship gain the harmony and unity you seek.

At our counseling offices in California, we have helped many couples overcome common problems. Even if your problems feel insurmountable today, we have likely helped other couples overcome the same problems with Christian counseling. These are the typical areas in which we see couples experience breakthroughs with our help.

Communication issues

You intuitively know that men and women communicate differently. The differences in communication styles create many problems for couples. Often a talkative person pairs up with someone more reserved, and the difference in styles causes clashes. In many relationships, one person is more adept at expressing emotions while the other needs coaching in this area. These differences in communication lead many couples to seek our help.

Red flags in communication include silent treatments, angry outbursts, threats, insults, and passive aggression. These communication techniques can quickly break down the bond you have in your relationship. However, you can learn to eradicate these problems with a counselor’s help. Your counselor will reveal the underlying dynamics so you can address communication issues at their roots.

Personality clashes

It’s common for opposites to attract. At the beginning of the relationship, your partner’s differences may have seemed exciting or comforting. However, as the relationship progresses, these exact differences can cause conflict. All of us have dark sides to our personalities, and your counselor can help you recognize and address these in counseling sessions.

Though your personality differences may feel confusing and frustrating, your counselor can help you learn to appreciate and value them. You will learn how to remove criticism and defensiveness while honoring the way God made each one of you. Your counselor can show you which battles are worth fighting and which ones are best left alone.

Priority conflicts

Many couples we’ve counseled have had conflicting priorities. A common dynamic is for a man to be highly driven in his work, while the woman wants to put more time into their relationship. Another common dynamic is for one person to have many outside interests and the other to be more of a homebody. When both partners have many obligations to priorities like school, work, sports, and children, the potential for conflict over priorities rises.

Fortunately, you can find practical help with a counselor’s suggestions. Your counselor will assist you in working as a team to select your priorities as individuals and as a couple. Both of your sets of priorities matter, and your counselor will be a trusted third party to help you sort out priorities in ways that show honor to both of you.

Money matters

Many couples have different money management styles but don’t realize this until their relationship becomes serious. It’s important to address how you spend money since conflicts over money are a frequent reason that couples divorce. If you address these issues while you are still dating, you have a better chance of succeeding in the future.

Whether you are a spender or saver, a counselor can help you learn to appreciate your partner’s view on how to manage money. With your counselor’s guidance, you can work together to form spending plans that affirm all your needs.

Future planning

Looking to the future as a couple can be daunting. You face many decisions such as where you will live, how much money you will need, how many children you want to have, which church you want to have, and how often you will see extended family. These are important decisions that must be addressed.

If you have gotten stuck when discussing these choices with your partner, a Christian counselor can help you have a diplomatic discussion that leads to confident decisions. Your counselor can help you plan for the future with hope and peace instead of strife and conflict.

Interference from others

It would be wonderful to enjoy your relationship without worrying about interference from others. However, many couples have unwanted interference from family members, friends, etc. These issues must be brought out into the open as your relationship progresses.

When you marry, the Bible says you become one flesh, and no one should interfere with your union. If you are already experiencing interference, a Christian counselor can help you set boundaries against the intruders and put each other first.

Addictions

Addictions range from video games, shopping, and work to gambling, pornography, or substance abuse. If addiction is affecting your relationship, it’s crucial to address and treat the addictions now before you make any more commitments to your partner.

It’s nearly impossible to overcome addictions without professional help. We have helped many couples overcome addictions so they can move into healthier relationships. If you are experiencing signs of addiction in your relationship, don’t hesitate to get help from a qualified Christian counselor.

To strengthen your relationship as a couple, use these biblical principles for study, meditation, and prayer. With your partner, discuss how you can apply these principles to your relationship troubles. Pray these verses to be hedges of protection around your relationship. In couples counseling, your counselor can help you learn more about these biblical principles.

Be Fruitful

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things, there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

By relying on the Holy Spirit to bear fruit in you, your relationship will experience blessings. Ask God to help you bear more of these fruits in practical ways so your partner will be blessed.

Show Love and Affection

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. – Romans 12:10

Both expressions of love and regular acts of non-sexual affection will strengthen your relationship. We all have different ways of receiving love, including touch, words of affirmation, quality time and conversation, gifts, and acts of service. Study the ways your partner responds most to you, and continue offering love and affection in those areas.

Be Humble, Gentle, and Patient

…with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love. – Ephesians 4:2

Humility, gentleness, and patience will overcome a multitude of relationship problems. When you overlook your partner’s faults with these biblical principles, you’ll experience greater unity in your relationship.

Offer Kindness and Forgiveness

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. – Ephesians 4:32

Forgiveness and kindness are keys to making your relationship last. When you put these biblical principles into action, you’ll face future trials with greater strength.

When you feel stuck, you don’t always have to struggle to manage problems on your own. Know that a caring Christian counselor at our offices is waiting to guide you onto a healthier path. We have helped many other couples overcome their problems, and we’re equipped to help you as well. Contact us today to set up your first couples counseling appointment.