Wade Van Staden

About Wade Van Staden

As a native of Zimbabwe, Africa I have always used what I have to help where and whomever I can. I became a certified counselor immediately after leaving school, and have worked in charities, missions, and community projects and churches ever since. I have worked with pre-teens, young adults, married couples, and the elderly. My hope is always that people know someone is there to walk next to them. I’ve had my fair share of mental health issues too, experiencing total burnout by the age of 24. As a result, I am passionate about helping people find their boundaries and establish habits that will boost their mental health. I started working online during the pandemic, teaching English to refugees around the globe, in hopes that they can find work. I believe that it doesn’t take much to make a lasting impact, and sometimes all people need is to know someone sees and hears them. I love being outdoors, tending to my 200 house plants, and having movie marathons with friends in my free time.

Dealing with Infidelity and Guilt

2025-05-29T07:07:44+00:00May 29th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Men’s Issues, Spiritual Development, Women’s Issues|

Almost every relationship that faces betrayal and infidelity has to deal with guilt. Not only do the cheating partners deal with guilt over what they did, but the betrayed partner often feels huge amounts of guilt afterward, too. It might seem nonsensical for the betrayed partner to feel guilt, but it begins to make sense when you break it down and understand it. Bearing guilt over the end of a relationship is surprisingly common, and sometimes, the first person we have to work on forgiving is ourselves. The Illusion of Control There are times in life when we struggle to accept what has happened. This often happens when we face the loss of a loved one in death. We might feel like we had a hand in their death because of something we did or didn’t do. This feeling of guilt is a common part of grief and often leads to bargaining behavior where we desperately wish things had been different. When a relationship is ruined by infidelity and cheating, we experience grief in much the same way as when a loved one passes away. Along with feeling furious, demeaned, and disrespected, many of us will also feel guilty. We feel guilty not because we were unfaithful, but because we feel like we could have done something different to avoid the situation entirely. Much in the same way that we begin bargaining after the death of a loved one, we might run through all the “what if” scenarios that we can think of. We feel guilty because we believe that we could have changed the situation. When we start peeling back the layers of this thinking, we find that deep down, we believed we were in control of the situation. We can’t fix anything out of our control, so [...]

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Anger in the Book of Proverbs

2025-03-13T07:37:32+00:00May 29th, 2024|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

The Bible offers much wisdom when it comes to understanding emotions and mental health. Proverbs, especially, has a lot to say on the topic of anger. The timeless truths in the book of Proverbs are well worth unpacking and examining because many apply to the situations we face today. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger - Proverbs 15:1, NIV We must all face conflict at some point in our lives. This can be a scary thing for many of us, especially those who grew up in homes that never experienced shouting, harsh words, or arguments. Valencia Christian Counseling can help you develop healthy communication and conflict-resolution skills rooted in faith and understanding. A benefit of being conflict-avoidant is that gentle communication is often the very thing that de-escalates a fiery exchange. Answering an angry person softly and being gentle with your words will catch the person off-guard and create space for calmer communication. Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city - Proverbs 16:32, NIV It can feel empowering to vent anger because doing so will often get results. For example, bosses often express their anger at employees because they are in a position of power and may get away with it without losing their jobs. However, it will come at a cost. The atmosphere in the workplace will be affected, not to mention the mental health of the workers. Mature leaders know that valuing relationships is better for the longevity of business. The angry boss would do better to take time to investigate what frustrates him and communicate from a place of knowledge rather than anger. This principle applies to all types of relationships. Cool heads and patience will always prevail over outbursts [...]

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