Taking New Territory: Navigating Transition, Relationships, and Boundaries

Venturing into unfamiliar territory can be somewhat frightening, but it is part of a maturing believer’s evolution and transformation. As we discover more about the Lord we encounter who He has called and created us to be. In this, we come to rest and rely on Him as He winds our path out of familiarity and deeper into the unknown where faith alone sustains, helping us to set proper boundaries.

Abram and Sarai experienced this as they sojourned through unfamiliar territory in search of a promised homeland. Having left most of their family except for Lot, Abraham’s nephew, they weren’t sure of all the future would produce. What they discovered was a handful of promises from the Almighty and a yearning for a city whose builder and maker was God (Hebrews 11:8, 10).

Transition

Abraham’s story is one that we all live in some way or another. Transitions are built into life’s landscape. As we traverse from one season into the next, we will separate from some places and some people while engaging with new ones.

Sometimes, when we carry elements of our old life into new spaces, we find disagreement and a lack of fit. It demands that we respond by making another change. Otherwise, we can experience the discord that often ensues when we cling to what the Lord wants us to leave in the old season.

Territory

Though he left the majority of his family, Abraham pivoted again. This time, it meant creating a boundary and separating his people, property, and possessions from Lot. When we first consider this, it can appear as if Abraham is being harsh in setting a boundary. If we read more closely, we will see that he is conveying love for his nephew by launching into new territory.

Lot couldn’t grow in the ways that God might have wanted, and neither could Abraham, had they remained together (Genesis 13:5-12). The Lord was increasing both the uncle and nephew. The best way for them to steward that growth was to create some space between them and their camps.

We can embrace this Biblical insight for our spiritual and practical applications. For those of us who have experienced codependency as part of our family origins, marking boundaries and making fresh starts is essential. Coming out of codependency can be painful, but creating boundaries where we lacked them or didn’t maintain them will help us to grow and advance into all that the Father has intended.

Transformation

Reconfiguring boundaries can make family and friends feel as if we are punishing them or cutting them off. However, establishing boundaries isn’t about inflicting harm. Instead, we pay attention to the Spirit’s leading and our internal discernment to set parameters.

Sometimes, the change is in response to an event or action, but often it is prompted by an emerging need that didn’t exist in a previous season. Part of walking in the Spirit is yielding to the transformation that He brings to our lives, both internally and externally.

Boundaries are established to preserve relationships we value. At the heart of those alliances are the ones that we have with God as well as the connection that we nurture with ourselves. We must be willing to make the necessary separations as Abraham did and to release guilt as we do.

Whenever the Lord is moving us into new mindsets, that is cause for celebration. It isn’t a mark against anyone. Rather, it is a revelation of what the Spirit of Christ is doing within.

Trust

We must trust God to navigate our way into healthier relationships. He will guide us with His wisdom, but also empower us to frame our conversations and actions in ways that convey compassion. It doesn’t mean that we won’t be misunderstood, but we must also realize that we aren’t responsible for managing other people’s emotional responses.

We must maintain integrity to speak the truth in love, but our priority is to follow the Spirit of God. That may mean expanding territory and venturing out into the unknown, open to where God wants to lead and what He wants us to leave.

Next steps in setting boundaries

Consider Abraham’s story even as you reflect on your own. You may notice a need for boundaries in your life even as you encounter transition. Initially, this can be awkward to work through and require the support of an empathetic and insightful counselor.

Browse our counselor directory and contact us at Valencia Christian Counseling to schedule an appointment. You will find the self-reflective tools and communication techniques needed to navigate you through new territory and personal transformation.